Welcome to JakeWestern.com: the most fun you can have online without taking your pants off.  Here you will experience funny true short stories, entertaining media and other hilarity guaranteed to blow your hair back, even if you look like Vin Diesel from above.

Start Here

If this is your first visit, you’ve probably arrived at this site by mistake.  But stick around anyway – you may actually have more fun here than doing what you were supposed to be doing.  Unless you were supposed to be imploding a high-rise building with plastic explosives.  It’s pretty hard to compete with that.

Anyway, to make it all easy for you, I’ll hold your hand (as long as you don’t have any disgusting diseases) and guide you through the beginning steps . . .

First, read the biography page so you know who you’re dealing with and what you’re getting into.  Be sure to wait at least half an hour after eating before doing so.

If you’re still here after that, check out the other stories (and associated media).  But only once you’ve strapped on the appropriate personal protective equipment – my public liability insurance plan involves me disappearing to South America without a trace, so there’s no comeback if you lose an eyeball or something.

After reading a story or two, you will probably feel dirty in a way that only an hour with a high pressure hose and a can of oven cleaner can fix.  Attend to that.  Then, if you’re still hungry for random pieces of information afterward, you can eat the FAQ.

Latest Stories and Updates

If you’ve already visited this site before, you can relax now that all that initial awkwardness and weirdness of the first time is over, and we can both look forward to forging a meaningful short term relationship.  Check out the news page to see what’s happened since last time.

Bonus Points for Regulars

Once you’re acquainted with this site and we’re well beyond the hand-holding stage, you may find yourself thinking “this is awesome! I just want to keep reading Jake’s stories forever!”  In which case, you should check out some easy ways to offer your support so that dream can come true.  If you’re feeling funky, you can learn more about the opportunity of reprinting these stories in other publications as well.

You may also feel the urge to talk to me for some reason.  Possibly to find out my favourite type of Porsche 911 Turbo S so you can buy me a gift commensurate with my level of awesomeness.  Or to ask for my address so you can send me your drycleaning bill.  In any case, you can do that via the contact page.

Don’t forget to share this site with all your friends, “like” the Jake Western Facebook page, and subscribe to the e-mail list and/or RSS or Atom feed as well.  You can also download some of the stories in PDF for free and e-mail them to everyone as proof that you have excellent taste in literature.

This site is under development and is being updated regularly in one way or another.  So be sure to come back again soon.  It will be even better the next time . . .